2002-03-22 - 9:25 p.m.
I am feeling... 
"Problems, problems, problems."
Greetings and salutations.....
This semester so far has been absolute shit. Let's recap so far, shall we?
1. My guilt and grief from being kicked out of ROTC carried over from last semester and continued to fuck with my head something fierce.
2. My glaring psychological problems became absolutely unbearable. I could no longer get myself out of bed to go to class on time, if at all.
3. A lethal combination of #1 and #2 caused me to continue to skip tons of classes and never do any homework.
4. I broke down and entered therapy. I was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, and chronic depression. Several weeks later, I was put on Wellbutrin and Risperdal for the depression and the OCD-induced paranoia, respectively.
5. I engaged in a war with my mother to try to get her to understand that I am not making any of my problems up, that there is this THING inside my head... I didn't put it there, and I just want it out... to be normal. She finally began to accept that I have problems when I had a near-complete breakdown in the psychiatrist's office at home. She's still in denial of it, though. Sorry, Mom... I know I was supposed to be the perfect child, but I'm not.
And now, let's add on some recent minor problems.
6. I have no money. I want to go to Seattle in July, September the latest, and I need cash for that. Plus, some of us girls were planning on going on a cruise in December, and I want to go to Boston to visit Andy and Emily.
7. I *need* a job this summer. I swear, I will have no shame in walking the three blocks to 7-11 and seeing obnoxious alumni from my high school everyday, just so I have a job and money. No shame at all.
8. I don't have a roommate for next year, and picks are in two weeks. My parents can't afford to get me a single, and even if they could, I have pick #308 in the incoming junior class. My number, for lack of a less profane term, FUCKING SUCKS. (I have an offer from a friend to live in a triple next year, but she hasn't talked to the other girl yet. Here's hoping...)
9. I need my dosage upped on the Risperdal, but I can't increase it until I go home next Thursday and go for my appointment on Good Friday.
10. I still have to register for classes at Schoolcraft this summer. I'm taking Principles of Sociology during the first term, and Intro to Short Fiction the second term.
11. Seattle is much too far away.
- - - - -
My life is not horrible, but it's bad enough for me. I think I am going to forego my usual sarcastic entry and end it here, so I can go watch "X-Men" with my roommate Amy.
Later.
<--Piper-->