2002-02-24 - 5:40 a.m.
I am feeling... 
"A night to remember."
Greetings and salutations.....
I took a random trip out to Chicago today with Daniel and Sean... the details of the trip have been immortalized in my journal already. Anyways, I realized quite a few things while I was chillin with them.
First and foremost, I really miss Daniel. I am so ashamed when I think of how badly I've treated him in past years. I finally sincerely apologized in a moment alone tonight... it feels so damn good to get all the unnecessary drama out of the way.
Second, I am 19. I have freedom to do all these things that I won't be able to when I'm older. Unfortunately, I'm not capitalizing fully on this freedom... I need to get out more, take advantage of more opportunities, meet more people, date more, etc, etc. I know that I'm a pretty impulsive person already, but I'm still so damned restless. Why not see it all? Why not turn left instead of right? Why not be young and reckless? I've got time.
Third, I'm not responsible for other people's drama. I have always made it my business to care about other people's feelings to an absolute fault. I finally realized that all I need to do, all I can do, all I should do... is to speak my piece, know what I'm feeling, and accept that it can't always be a picture perfect ending. I've been so afraid of disappointing or angering other people, that I've neglected myself severely in the process. It's time to get back to me, and to put my thoughts, feelings, and problems first. It's alright to be a little selfish, when you've lost any and all sense of exactly who you are.
<--Piper-->