2001-07-27 - 4:52 p.m.
I am feeling... 
"A birthday party!"
Greetings and salutations.....
First of all, if you know me personally, I am currently in Ohio getting drunk off my ass and causing large amounts of trouble, so don't call or whatever till Thursday. Phone messages that are left with my brother are just *asking* to be used as toilet paper. (And yes, I know I'll be home Wednesday, but I'll be going to see Peaches that night, so I'll be out mincing around downtown Detroit looking all skanky-like, not worrying about my missed calls.)
Secondly, as most of you know, I have not yet experienced the Canada phenomenon that is so prevalent to 19-year-olds around here. This is obviously because I don't turn 19 till December 17. So, in light of my planned weekend trip to Windsor with my Crew when I finally do 19, my massive amounts of boredom, and my avoidance of packing because I am too damned lazy, here is a trial run of the email I will be sending to my Crew, alerting them of the adventures we will have...
*(excerpts taken from a previous conversation with Becky, the Illustrious Burrito of Knowledge)*
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Hello.
In a few short weeks, I will be turning 19. Do you know what this means?
Oh, it's true!
It's time for everyone to get their thumbs out of their asses and get this damn Canada trip organized.
Now, seeing as how nothing in this Crew gets planned until us women throw up our hands in exasperation, swear at the boys, and plan it ourselves... I would like to take it upon myself to plan the trip... myself... since it is indeed in honor of MY birthday. (Yes, it really is. Don't fucking argue with me. It is because I said so.)
And since it is in honor of MY birthday, you must take these words to heart!!!
I want EVERYONE there.
You heard me. EVERYONE.
Now, my slightly violent conscience is rising to the forefront, and it has a few words to say to you all:
"Fuck you and your differences! Fuck you and your fighting! Just fuck you in general! It's my fuckin birthday and I fuckin want every fuckin single one of you there! Are you fuckin clear?"
Ahem.
My conscience also wants you all to say, "Yes, oh fuckin wise Gabby! You fuckin rule! We're all fuckin going to fuckin Canada, even if some of us ain't fuckin 19 yet!"
And that's the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold said so.
And so did I.
See you in Windsor.
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Have fun while I'm gone, kiddies... don't get into too much trouble.
~*~Piper~*~