2001-06-04 - 6:51 p.m.
I am feeling... 
"Close encounters of the asshole kind."
Greetings and salutations.....
People, I apologize for my bipolar-ness these days. It's not easy being me sometimes.
So I go to Fanatic U about an hour ago, to see my dear Becky. We smile and laugh... she wretches at the smell of my White Castles... we read articles about mosh pits in Cosmo Girl (yeah, because 99.9% of the girls who read Cosmo Girl don't go to concerts with mosh pits... or if they do, they were dragged there on a blind date and they don't go in the pit)... and of course, the usual sniping banter about Michigan/Michigan State takes place, accompanied by the usual favorite insult of me and Beck's...
Becky: "Oh yeah, Gabby? When's the last time Notre Dame won a football championship?"
Gabby: "Why the hell should I care? I don't go to Notre Dame!"
And so forth it goes. We were also greatly amused by Doug, the heating and cooling guy who told us some VERY amusing stories about his teenage stepdaughter, who is only attracted to 35 year old unemployed divorcees with six kids, and his 16 year old stepson, who has not only stolen the biggest tractor he could find at Home Depot and driven it back to his house, but has also stolen a four foot tall marijuana plant out of some guy's backyard when the guy knew he was the only one back there, and denied the whole thing later. (Author's comment: Pull up your anchor, Captain Obvious, you're coming in a little slow there...) It was an absolute riot... but it must be noted that I left Becky's gracious presence at Fanatic U at a rather opportune time.
I was halfway to my car when I noticed it... yes, a black Tempo with a white Limp Bizkit sticker on the windshield rolling my way. My first reaction? "HA! Oh no, I do *not* think so!"
"Earth calling, copilot to pilot, we are having a close encounter of the jackass kind, cuz Noah is coming my way..."
Amidst my fit of personal amusement, I had another reaction to his proximity to me... "Somebody's not lookin at me!!!"
He obviously saw me. He had that "I'm pretending I didn't see you" look on his face and he was all staring ahead and pullin on his hat and fiddling around with shit. What an asshole. So I pull out of the parking lot behind him and continue on with my fit of personal amusement.
The light changes. He goes straight. I start to turn right. And me with all my maturity and class, what do I do? That's right. Give him one more dirty look and flip him the bird. I am *so* demure.
And let me tell you something... when it comes down to the Doug/Kathryn thing, I may be Switzerland and be totally neutral... but when it comes to Noah, call me mother fuckin Ho Chi Minh, because I am North Vietnam and I am going to KILL HIS LYING ASS!!!!!
~*~Piper~*~