2001-04-08 - 1:57 p.m.
I am feeling... 
"Meatloaf comes to town."
Greetings and salutations.....
Well, hello there. How is everyone out in D-land today? Great, great... and myself? Well, I feel like a bowl of soggy Cheerios... tired, drained, and slightly squishy. But oh, the stories to tell...
My mother came to visit me for the weekend.
Just that one statement should be an "enough said" situation, but I'll elaborate for entertainment purposes.
Mom called around 4 pm from the toll road, about 25 minutes away from the Bend. She told me to be downstairs by the time her and Mrs. Mortens (Jamie's mom... it was Junior Moms weekend) picked Jamie up from LeMans. This phone call came just as I was about to take a shower... I estimated her coming around 5:30, but I did not take into account the fact that she might drive 120 mph the whole way from Detroit to South Bend. So I took the world's fastest shower and got myself together... I flew out the front door of my hall just as our Thunderbird skidded to a stop in front of Holy Cross. Good timing on my part.
So we went to check the mothers into the Marriott in "downtown" (what a joke) SB, and my mother successfully managed to break at least five Indiana traffic laws on the way over. (Jeez, and people say *I'm* a bad driver? Obviously it was inherited...) Then we dropped Jamie and Mrs. Mortens back at SMC for the Junior Moms' reception thing, and me and Mom took off for dinner.
Now, when my mother/father/sister comes to visit, I look forward to getting normal food with them for weeks in advance. Fuck eating at the dining hall... put a steak in front of me and I'll be happy for days. My daddy and I are also in the process of eating at every Chinese restaurant in the South Bend/Mishawaka area at least once... we go every time he stops through on a military weekend.
Anyways... I digress. As we were trying to figure out where to eat, I started getting very excited at the prospect of eating (good) chicken, or steak, or at least pork chop suey. And *that* is when my mother decided to oh-so-gently remind me of my religious affiliation. "Are you turning heathen on me??? It's Lent, it's a Friday, no meat."
Well, that just deflated me. What the hell was I going to eat? I'm an **extremely** picky eater, and I was hungry as all hell. We wandered off to this pancake house so my mom could have waffles and strawberries. So what did I eat? A side salad and hash browns. Whoopee-fucking-do. She wouldn't even let me order my French dressing with crumbled bacon in it. Damn religious fanatic.
After that we picked up Jamie and Mrs. M, and went to see Chocolat. At least *that* part of the day was good. I really liked that movie. Johnny Depp... rraaarrrrr. ;)
On Saturday morning, I was rudely awakened by a phone call at 8 am. It was my mother. She was downstairs with Jamie and her mom, and demanding me to get out of bed and go to the outlet stores at Michigan City (an hour away) with them. Did I have a choice? Did she care that I had gotten to sleep at 2 am that night? Did she care that I have never gotten up before 1 pm on a Saturday at school before? The answers were no, no, and no, respectively. So into clothes I got and off we went.
We split up at the stores, each mother dragging her daughter a different way. Still bitter about being woken up so early, I was being all surly and vindictive through the first few stores. My mom apologized for waking me up so early, and made amends by buying me a whole bunch of stuff: a pair of jeans, two pairs of Dockers, a bottle of Day from the Gap, two pairs of pajamas, and a messenger bag purse. (I swear to God, I didn't ask for it all- just the jeans. Until Saturday, I only had 1 pair of jeans, but 17 pairs of Dockers. I just love my Dockers... I practically live in them.) She also got me some yogurt pretzels- my #2 downfall in life. ;)
Mom and I went out for another mother-daughter dinner that night, and I *finally* got my porterhouse steak. Ahhh... steak... my #1 downfall in life. ;) She drove me absolutely insane all through dinner, but I did manage to convince her to let me take Gaelic at Notre Dame next year for my language requirement. I also informed her that I was going to see the captain in charge of Air Force ROTC at ND on Thursday to discuss me starting ROTC next year. Just my luck- she was so thrilled that I seemed to be tolerating a whole damn weekend with her so well that she didn't even bat an eye as she said, "Well, that's fine, honey... good luck with the drills and such next year." Score one for the future Air Force general. ;)
Today, she let me sleep in... to 9 am... before the four of us went to breakfast. I ordered chocolate chip pancakes, thinking that I'd have my three pancakes and make her happy that I was actually eating real breakfast food (aside from hash browns and cereal). Little did I know that the waitress was going to serve me 8 fucking pancakes that were each roughly the size of a hubcap. Holy shit... I made my way through one and gave up. I now have 7 massive pancakes chillin in my roommate's fridge... that's my breakfast for the next week right there.
So we went back to SMC, loaded the car up with some shit I want to move home already, and she left... but not without leaving me with a few articles she wants me to read. Jeez... check this... she wants me to read "The Bible: myth or truth?", "15 habits of highly-effective women", "Safe vs. sexy: do you like the way you look?", "Leap of faith", "She's a Catholic for better or worse, for now and eternity", "Better shaving techniques", "Exercises that make your butt bigger", "Find adventure by working abroad", and "Parents have influence as their children play the dating game". In the words of my roommate Jessica... my mother is a fruitcake. Did anyone catch that comment I made earlier about my mother being a crazy religious fanatic? That's right. I wasn't kidding.
So she's gone and I have survived the weekend. Reading Communist lectures by Karl Marx and doing my Philosophy paper just seems so boring right now, as opposed to ripping on my sister's non-existent love life for hours. Hmm. I think I'm going to go shower now.
Have a bandit day, everybody... and just remember- nothing says love like a turkey butter mold.
Interpret as you will. ;)
~*~Piper~*~